My sentiments exactly. Same with Tyra Banks. Both go around telling people to feel good about themselves and turning right around to give you tips on how to look “more fashionable” or “better”. Hypocrisy! Plus I can’t really say I liked Oprah to begin with. She seems way too “new-age-y”.
Man, I’ve been coming across a lot of articles that I kind of feel I need to say something about. I’m totally on a human rights kick right now.
I don’t know if this is true or not, but I have read that more people are choosing to be childfree. I don’t know if it’s that their number has increased, or whether it’s just becoming less of a “taboo” subject. Here are a few articles I read on the matter: [ Why I’m Childfree ] [ Snappy Comebacks to Questions about Being Childfree ] [ Miss Out On Unconditional Love ]
To me, this is just another case of people trying to control each other. And I notice people who are so pro-children always make it seem like women can’t be happy without children. It seems like the women who fought (and are still fighting) for women’s equal rights have wasted time and effort. Why is it that women are pinned with this type of burden? They are expected to always-and-no-matter-what sacrifice their free will just to make others happy? Very rarely are men told that not having kids makes them less of a man.
It seems like women are their own worst enemies. Half of the time it’s women who try to stamp out the rights of other women. It makes me sick!
Needless to say, I agree with the commenters who say that the choice to have kids is strictly personal. It isn’t selfish, or due to hatred of children, or not finding the right mate. The people who say this–especially the ones who expect unconditional love from their children–are the ones who are truly selfish. This article even suggests that the people most critical of this choice are jealous of the freedom the childfree seem to have. I must say I agree. Why else are they so concerned with something that has nothing to do with them? And don’t get me started on the religious nut-jobs who think it’s God’s will for everyone to have kids. That’ll take a whole other blog entry.
Haha! I’m so sick of people like this.
Now, I’m only a college student, and I don’t pretend to know everything–especially about marriage–but many things about this article struck me as odd. Please read it for yourself and see if you concur. The article is also mentioned here. Now here is how these points came across to me:
1. You’re a bitch: So all single women are angry men haters? Men want to be with people who are nice to them? Yeah, well so do women! According to this woman’s logic, you’re a bitch if you want to be treated with respect and are angry when men are disrespectful to you. Why is it that women never have to right to be angry over injustice? While that doesn’t give them license to bash all men, it’s understandable that they’d be upset over ill-treatment.
2.You’re Shallow: How do you know what’s in every woman’s heart, whether she is truly seeking a man of character. Obviously you weren’t if you have been divorced three times. And teenage girls are never happy? What? Everyone, no matter what age is unhappy at some point. I’m still a teenager (the last year of my teenhood), and I can’t say I’m always unhappy. I can recall quite a few happy memories.
3.You’re a slut: Um, not all women have sex outside of marriage. Some men will even refuse to date women because of that: because they can’t use them as a sex object.
4.You’re a liar: So the women who do choose to have sex are hooked to a guy because of some biological chemical release they can’t control? So that means they lied? With that same logic you could say “I can live without food”. Which you can’t because the body releases chemicals that signal it’s time to eat, and that eventually if you don’t eat for long enough, all you’ll be able to think about is food.
5.You’re not good enough: You’re saying women purposely look for someone who they perceive as better so they can feel crappy about themselves all the time? And marriage isn’t about getting, but about giving? So women should just pour all their time and energy into men and expect nothing in return? She even states, “The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don’t deserve it”. Sounds like warped thinking to me. I thought it was supposed to be about treating each other as equals and sharing your life with someone you love. By her logic, men shouldn’t be allowed to reject women they don’t like because it all about loving people even when they don’t deserve it. She defeats her own point!
It seems that this woman believes women who are independent, who don’t need men to validate them, and who refuse to stay with jerky losers, are selfish. And men aren’t selfish? Men get to be independent without this type of BS being flung at them from numerous sources. They are even encouraged to treat women as just things to have sex with and that are pretty to look at for a while until you find one you like better.
Now please understand that I don’t think ALL men are this way. Just as I know that there ARE women who fit some of McMillan’s descriptions. But you can’t just lump people together. It’s very easy to do, and probably most people (not necessarily all!) are guilty of it from time to time.
Anyway this has gone on way too long. I just know I wouldn’t take relationship advice from someone who apparently can’t stay married herself. I’m more likely to listen to my parents who have been married for at least a good 30 years.
I keep running across all these different blogs, forums, and youtube videos by many black women who are having success with their natural hair. While I say kudos to you, I am not one of these people. I’ve been transitioning for about a year now and I’ve been regretting the whole process each and every time I’m forced to deal with my hair. Most of the time I have my hair braided so that I won’t have to handle it so much, thereby preventing breakage (at least theoretically). The braids are not super tight, so there shouldn’t be a lot of stress on my hair. I still shampoo, condition, and moisturize when in braids, so I don’t think my problem is dryness.
Whenever I take my hair down for a few weeks in between braiding, it’s a nightmare to handle. After unbraiding I wash, condition, and detangle. This process is arduous and requires much patience. While my last detangle session was easier this time around, the real headache comes in when I try to style my hair. No matter how much I practice the natural/transitioning styles I study through youtube, my hair never looks right. Twist outs, knot outs, rod sets; it does not matter. My hair always comes out looking like an over-fluffed poodle. Afros do not look good on me and I refuse to wear my hair that way.
This could just be a case that my hair is not long enough, so my hair stands up, rather than hanging–unlike the lucky individuals on youtube. Or maybe my hair has to be “trained” to look right with these styles.
In any case, I must say that I am deeply regretting going natural. I plan to stick with it a while longer, maybe another year or so in the hopes that I can get it long enough to hang down. If it doesn’t work, I guess I’ll just have to admit defeat.
Although I’ve read many natural women blog about how anyone can go natural, not just people with “good hair”, I’m finding it quite difficult to believe. It’s easy not to believe in good hair or bad hair when you don’t have bad hair.
Maybe I’ll look back on this post one day and regret that I regretted natural-ness. But, at the moment, I’m PO’d at my hair.
Another ignorant post by an ignorant person. I was going to try and post something happy today, but this just bugged me too much. Maybe tomorrow?
[insert ignorance here: Six Reasons A Lot of Young Women Are Single]
Why should it be up to men how women should and shouldn’t dress? Since when are yoga pants slobby? Maybe if they’re ill-fitting and dirty. And I still don’t understand people who hate Ugg boots. They don’t even look that bad. If it were up to most men, women would just be naked all the time. So why the eff should we care about what they have to say about clothes? They don’t have to wear women’s clothes. And if a woman dares to criticize how sloppy men look, she’s seen as a nagging bitch.
Men need to get over themselves. Unless you’re dressed to the nines 24/7 you had better not open your mouth to me about how I dress. Same goes for the women who dress to impress men. They don’t seem to understand or care that what men call sloppy is a complaint that they can’t see your butt or breasts. In reality it’s more about their fantasy being obstructed than caring about appearance. I noticed all clothes listed as sloppy were considered baggy. Many men are only interested in sex, so of course they complain when they can’t ogle the goods.
The author himself makes it perfectly clear that he’s only after sex by writing, “When we have to go somewhere we don’t care if it’s the pink top or the blue top. Maybe your ass does look fat in those pants, but we’ll give your groin a tactile examination just to make sure,”. Typical.
As far as makeup goes, men can stfu about that too. A lot of women like colorful makeup. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean they’re going to stop wearing it. It’s not hurting you or infringing upon your rights. This article is so sexist I don’t know what to do. I’m so tired of people writing about crap they don’t know shit about.
I’ll just chalk this up as another no-count person spreading his ignorance. It goes without saying that guys I meet like this in real life are immediately written off as losers.
Just more controversy.
I am going to try to make my next post something less controversial and depressing.
By the way, CatholicLifeGuard is an f-ing idiot.