Now, I’m only a college student, and I don’t pretend to know everything–especially about marriage–but many things about this article struck me as odd. Please read it for yourself and see if you concur. The article is also mentioned here. Now here is how these points came across to me:
1. You’re a bitch: So all single women are angry men haters? Men want to be with people who are nice to them? Yeah, well so do women! According to this woman’s logic, you’re a bitch if you want to be treated with respect and are angry when men are disrespectful to you. Why is it that women never have to right to be angry over injustice? While that doesn’t give them license to bash all men, it’s understandable that they’d be upset over ill-treatment.
2.You’re Shallow: How do you know what’s in every woman’s heart, whether she is truly seeking a man of character. Obviously you weren’t if you have been divorced three times. And teenage girls are never happy? What? Everyone, no matter what age is unhappy at some point. I’m still a teenager (the last year of my teenhood), and I can’t say I’m always unhappy. I can recall quite a few happy memories.
3.You’re a slut: Um, not all women have sex outside of marriage. Some men will even refuse to date women because of that: because they can’t use them as a sex object.
4.You’re a liar: So the women who do choose to have sex are hooked to a guy because of some biological chemical release they can’t control? So that means they lied? With that same logic you could say “I can live without food”. Which you can’t because the body releases chemicals that signal it’s time to eat, and that eventually if you don’t eat for long enough, all you’ll be able to think about is food.
5.You’re not good enough: You’re saying women purposely look for someone who they perceive as better so they can feel crappy about themselves all the time? And marriage isn’t about getting, but about giving? So women should just pour all their time and energy into men and expect nothing in return? She even states, “The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don’t deserve it”. Sounds like warped thinking to me. I thought it was supposed to be about treating each other as equals and sharing your life with someone you love. By her logic, men shouldn’t be allowed to reject women they don’t like because it all about loving people even when they don’t deserve it. She defeats her own point!
It seems that this woman believes women who are independent, who don’t need men to validate them, and who refuse to stay with jerky losers, are selfish. And men aren’t selfish? Men get to be independent without this type of BS being flung at them from numerous sources. They are even encouraged to treat women as just things to have sex with and that are pretty to look at for a while until you find one you like better.
Now please understand that I don’t think ALL men are this way. Just as I know that there ARE women who fit some of McMillan’s descriptions. But you can’t just lump people together. It’s very easy to do, and probably most people (not necessarily all!) are guilty of it from time to time.
Anyway this has gone on way too long. I just know I wouldn’t take relationship advice from someone who apparently can’t stay married herself. I’m more likely to listen to my parents who have been married for at least a good 30 years.